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for Daisy

They wanted you to apologize
to the boy who was filmed
raping your unconscious fourteen-year-old body;
said the case had to be dismissed.
And it was.
It was. Despite the confession, the rape kit,
the video passed around your high school,
the grandson of the state representative
is attending college, tweeting unrepentant
about how all women want the D.

Two years later, after you have tried twice to die,
I see your story; Anonymous swearing justice,
people saying you wanted it,
that small-town girls are just sluts,
even the fourteen-year-olds, younger than the sister
I left in my own tiny county.

I am forced to remember:  the scalding looks
shot across the aisles of my Baptist church
(the first place he ever spoke to me,
twenty-seven years of experience
leveled against a misplaced thirteen-year-old);
the woman who lectured me on taking responsibility
for my own actions, that it was a mistake,
one he would suffer for more than I would.
The pastor telling my parents
that his family needed the support more,
as if that explained why he sat
on their side of the courtroom while I sat
on mine, staring at the brown of his head,
listening to gray-haired deacons testify
that he was a good man, understanding the implication:
I was not a good girl, making a big deal out of nothing,
how could it be rape I never said no
to anything he asked of me except my little sister --
then I said I would kill him
if he touched her.

It’s been eight years.
I still can’t say “I was raped”
without adding “It was only statutory,”
but for us, the girls and women and boys and men
who daily swallow the words
with antidepressants,
I write in first-person,
add my shaking hands and voice to yours
because none of us should have to live
wondering what we did
to be blamed for this.
The title comes from a quote from Sheriff Darren White on the decision to drop all charges against the boy who raped Daisy Coleman.

This is one of the hardest things I think I've ever done in my life. I'm doing this because I believe it can help other people who have been affected by the victim-blaming that tormented Daisy Coleman and other survivors of rape. I'm doing this because this very brave girl was able to sit in front of the world and talk about what happened to her, and watching her gave me the strength and bravery and reason to do this myself. This is the best way I know to take a stand against the attempts made daily to silence, shame, and blame victims for crimes perpetrated against them. If you agree, please share this post.

If you're not entirely sure what I'm talking about: www.kansascity.com/2013/10/12/…

If you're interested in updates on the story or showing your support: www.facebook.com/DaisyColeman
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-11-16
I guess they're just going to have to get over it. by ~oracle-of-nonsense is "a sobering response to the tragedy of victim-blaming" (suggester's words). Thank you for commenting respectfully on this piece. ( Suggested by Nichrysalis and Featured by neurotype )
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014   Writer
The injustice in this piece comes through so strongly.

My thanks to you, for this piece and for your bravery. :heart:
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you. <3
Reply
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014   Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013   Writer
I don't have the words to tell you how this made me feel. Thank you so much for writing this.
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconspadiekitchenqueen:
spadiekitchenqueen Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you (from a survivor, to a survivor) :hug:
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icontransient-daughter:
transient-daughter Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Student Writer
Wow, congrats on the DD. I'm glad you can get your work out there where other people will listen. You really do deserve the positivity.
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you :) I was seriously happy crying when I found out.
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:iconbobraw:
bobraw Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
money talks. and you all know she
"asked"for it. yeah, she asked for it. right.
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Writer
It does, loudly. Exactly.
Reply
:iconrmacdhai:
RmacDhai Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
We stand with you. -- R. macDhai
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:icontoxicscythe:
ToxicScythe Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ok were is this guy? all the girls in my SMALL TOWN school have a bullet or two with his name on it... even in the middle of nowhere, NOONE gets away with rape... and whoever called ALL small town girls sluts need to be shot... JUSTICE!!! JUUSSSTIIIIIIICE!
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
Unfortunately, people do get away with rape, and often. Justice is definitely needed.
Reply
:icontoxicscythe:
ToxicScythe Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
it Is really sad...
Reply
:icontoxicscythe:
ToxicScythe Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*small town girls are sluts*
Reply
:icontheexplosivesushi:
TheExplosiveSushi Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely gorgeous...unfortunately I know exactly how Daisy feels..nobody should have to feel that way...I just hope she manages to find the peace that I have even though it has taken so long..
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you.
I'm very sorry that you cam empathize on such a personal level, as you're correct, no one should ever have to experience that. I hope she will too, it's been exceedingly difficult for her.
Reply
:icontheexplosivesushi:
TheExplosiveSushi Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's ok :) I'm just glad that there are people like you who are able to feel compassion toward individuals like Daisy and I and then write something this wonderful. I hope that the word will continue to get out there and that people can find a sense of unity over this very important issue.
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Writer
As am I :) And I hope the same
Reply
:iconpokebw4evr:
PokeBW4Evr Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
I can empathize to this in so many ways. Not myself having been raped thankfully, but unfortunately people closest to me that I would DIE for have been raped AND blamed! It f*cking pisses me off SO BAD!!! I WANT JUSTICE! SO BAD!!! Why is there no justice in this world?!?! *trying to contain my tears and frustration*  Your piece is beautiful...spoken from the heart and soul...the truth is written within your words, indeed. Thank you for sharing this with everyone, thank you... *still sad and angry though about the injustice of the world*
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
The reason I wrote this, and the reason Daisy told her story despite the intense hate and judgment leveled at her was to try to bring about justice, to create and show empathy to those who have suffered in this way, and to show people that victim-blaming and injustice happen all the time, and that they shouldn't. Public opinion can be a monster, but it can also force change, if used in the right ways.
That said, I am deeply sorry that your loved ones have gone through this. No one should ever have to, and I'm glad they have you to care for them.
Thank you for your comment.
Reply
:iconpokebw4evr:
PokeBW4Evr Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
You're very welcome, and thank you honestly for yours. I hope Daisy can find healing in her lovely heart and soul....the poor dear... I am sorry for my loved one's and also others like Daisy, known or unknown to me. May they find peace and non-judgment somehow in their lives, and also I hope that victim-blaming is stopped. :iconsweethugplz: Have a wonderful day/night!
Reply
:iconmagic6jewls:
magic6jewls Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
Huge emotional impact, because it happened in my church too. 

Thankfully, the guy got deported and only the pastor knew about it. 

I cannot imagine how my life would be if things turned out differently. Only that I am thankful. 

Thank you, for writing this. 
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but very glad that it was handled well and that he was deported.

Thank you for reading :heart:
Reply
:iconmagic6jewls:
magic6jewls Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Writer
:heart: 
Reply
:iconthe-winged-pyro:
The-Winged-Pyro Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
And then... the Roast Busters. These people make me sick. 

Why is it that despite all the evidence, even when they plea guilty, all the charges are dropped like nothing happened? They should all burn for what they've done. 
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
Sometimes, it's hard to pay attention to the news, because there are stories like this and the Roast Busters happening all the time.

I don't understand why it happens, or how it happens. It's horrifying.
Reply
:iconthe-winged-pyro:
The-Winged-Pyro Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
Reminds me of this joke I heard... (at least I *think* it was a joke)

"News presenters: they always say good evening right before telling you exactly why its not."

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:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
Pretty accurate, yeah
Reply
:icondevilchild93:
Devilchild93 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
Beautiful.
One thing we do in this country is look at places like India and the Middle East, and we hear about the rape that happens there, and we ask ourselves "How can they do that?" and "How can they not find justice?"
when this country, we do the same.
It may not be as bad, but we certainly are more similar when it comes to the crime of rape than we'd like to believe.
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
It is very hypocritical and ignorant, to remain blind to the errors of one's own country while judging the same crimes in other nations.
The mindset surrounding cultures of victim-blaming and rape is certainly frighteningly similar.
Reply
:iconforgotten-darknesses:
forgotten-darknesses Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this actually drew an emotional response from my callused shell of a body. 
good work, you got through the firewall.
good writing beautiful piece
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
I'm glad to have hacked my way through.
Thank you
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

You know, I remember when I was younger, and how the world was such a beautiful place. A place where I loved to live, and where dreams came true.

I don't remember growing up and seeing how horrible the world truly is.

 

Rape is such a terrible thing, and it makes me sick just thinking that people could do such a thing.

 

It is really brave of you to have done this.

 

I congratulate you.

:heart:

Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
I too remember that time. But we can't stay blind to it forever.

It is a completely sickening thing, and the ways in which some parts of society justify it is only more disgusting.

Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Indeed. To both of those comments.

And you're more than welcome :heart:

Reply
:iconsrcpcsoha:
srcpcsoha Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD! have a good day~
Reply
:iconassclownfish:
AssClownFish Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
What most people who victim blame don't realize, is that it never goes away. 
It's always there, hiding in the back of your mind. And when someone gets away with it, you lose even another piece of yourself with it. 
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
I feel like most people in general don't understand that, victim-blamers in particular, since they don't recognize that there is a problem there to begin with.
Someone getting away with it can just completely invalidate everything you feel, because it implies that they did nothing wrong.
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
What...? He dropped the charges? This fell off my radar...

:wow: Great poem, by the way.
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
The initial charges were dropped, yes.
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student General Artist
You're welcome... and wow....
Reply
:iconanalillithbar:
analillithbar Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:iconsoulstar722:
Soulstar722 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree whole-heartedly. It makes me sick to know that we live in a society where this is acceptable. 
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
I feel the same.
Reply
:iconsheep2-0:
sheep2-0 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
You are a strong, awmazing, and brave person. I hope others can see this and draw from your strength.
Reply
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