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Words by Bark

Poetry by 91816119

Literature by JayDanjerCobain

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Submitted on
September 24, 2013
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1.6 KB


32 (who?)
Fall in love with everything
but people.
Fall in love with ideas: anarchy
and LaVeyan Satanism.
Fall in love with solitary back-packing
through Israel or Mexico.
Fall in love with gamma radiation
or tiger-taming, MMA cage fighting
or free-climbing the Rocky Mountains,
but do not fall in love
with people.

People will want you
for your similarities to one
or more of their parents;
they will want you
for the outline, the concept of you;
they will want you
because you want them –
they will not know
what they want.

People will take the bed you shared
and fuck other people
in the barely cooled indent
of your absent body
(they will also take your cat,
leaving you with scarred hands
and nothing for them to stroke).

They will promise to never leave you
and maybe they won’t,
but they will buckle you in with them
on the bipolar-coaster,
left flying off unfinished tracks,
and you will have to jump,

They will be perfect
except for little things –
answering their phone during dinner,
taking their mother’s word as scripture,
sleeping with their socks on –
and you will be tempted,
so very tempted,
to love people,
but trust me when I tell you
you’d be better off
in love with tightrope walking
between skyscrapers.
Well, my prof really only had minor, you-can-try-this-if-you-want suggestions for this piece, and it seems to have been an over-all success with the class, particularly in terms of its relatability. However, I know the internet excels at finding things to critique, so I shall let you at it. :)
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Karinta Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Hmmm. The message has been turned on its head in this poem, or rather the usual message has bee inverted.
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student Writer
Oh? What's the usual message?
Karinta Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student General Artist
That "you can be anything at all if you put your heart in it"... ;-) Whereas this is firmly realistic.
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Student Writer
Oh, haha, yes this is definitely a bit different :)
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think the cat reference is important.  Having a cat with a lover and then having them take it away is them taking away more than themselves when they leave- the cat is a living symbol of a choice you made together, and a commitment you made together to care for another living being.  The cat's absence almost acts a multiplier to the void left by the departed lover.

You took heartache and turned it into something poignant and wise.  

Of course, the last line brings to mind Philippe Petit's famous walk between the WTC towers:…

Lovely, dear. Lovely.
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Student Writer
Okay, good. That was what I thought too, and that was how I was using that, my prof just isn't a cat person, so he didn't really care or understand. He also may not have a soul, I'm not sure.

Thank you.

That was actually my professor's comment. He wanted me to reference that in some way.

Thank you :)
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know if you can really reference Phillippe Petit.  I mean, I'm older than you, and I studied at lot about the WTC after 9/11, so I know who he is.  But I don't know if all your audience will.  Maybe I'm wrong, dunno.  Do your peers all know who he is?

oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Student Writer
We've watched the documentary, yes. ;) And the reference my prof wanted me to make was more of the Twin Towers than Philippe Petit.
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh.. the towers.  That would make more sense, but not.  I don't see the point in evoking the imagery of 9/11 for this poem.

The emotion of the story you're trying to tell is enough.
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah, I didn't think so either. Sometimes he has very odd ideas.

Thank you.
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